Your children need to feel the sense of control in order to evolve correctly and enjoy a life full of right decisions. But it’s something they need to learn and you have to give it the space they need to get it.
If you want to motivate your children, they must feel like they have control over their lives. Being motivated comes from knowing that you can shape your future through the actions you take today. But if children feel that their parents have complete (or almost complete) control, they will have little motivation.
Some parents hover over their children. Microcontrol down to the last detail of their children’s lives. The result is that children never develop the feeling that they are responsible for their education and their lives. By empowering your children, they will develop a sense of autonomy and responsibility. Talk regularly with your children about expectations and consequences.
As a parent, you’re sure to have expectations in your children. For example, you can expect them to keep your room tidy, and there may be consequences for not doing so. Learning to be responsible in one area (keeping the room tidy) motivates them to be responsible in other areas of life, such as studying.
With this approach, you still need to get involved in your children’s lives. The difference is that instead of scrolling and micromanaging everything, you create boundaries around participation. For example, you can make it clear to your children that you are available to answer homework questions every night between 8 p.m. and 9 p.m.
This way, your children will develop the ability to motivate themselves. They will know that only they are responsible for making sure their task is done. On the contrary, consider children whose parents scold them every day to do their homework. Such children will not develop the ability to motivate themselves.