Imagine your son is in a bad mood. Anything, no matter how small it is, sends him to the edge of crying. It may seem like he’s trying to manipulate you or make your life difficult, but it’s not really like that. Your son is simply overwhelmed. When children “misbehave,” many of us were taught (our own parents) that discipline or punishment is what is needed to get a child’s behavior back on track.
But give comfort and support instead of shouting “Stop crying!” will not make your children have more crises in the future. In fact, the opposite is true. Your child NEEDS support during times of stress. Showing empathy and affection gives your child a sense of security and understanding.
By showing empathy to your child, you are meeting his needs. If your child doesn’t get that sense of connection from you, he’ll keep trying… which means more crying and bad behavior. This is one of the central concepts of positive parenting. It’s also the reason to say “Stop crying!” does not work in the long term.
The next time your child is struggling with an overwhelming feeling, don’t immediately jump to say “Stop crying!”, Have some of the positive phrases at hand so you can react with empathy and understanding. Feelings are not something to be avoided, they are opportunities for connection.
At the end of the day, we want to show our children that we always accept them. When they’re calm and when they’re excited or angry. That is true unconditional love and is what your child must feel about you so that this way he can grow and develop comprehensively. A child who feels good, behaves well… and crying, it’s nothing anyone should regret.