Being neutral in children’s conflicts is critical to maintaining order and peace within the home. If you choose one of your children when they have problems with each other, the other may feel out of place and misunderstood. It can even result in a situation of great rivalry between siblings, in some cases, difficult to solve.
The intervention of fathers and mothers in conflicts between siblings can determine the relationship between siblings. In many cases it tends to let siblings solve problems with each other, belittling certain situations that can become complicated. Because staying on the sidelines can cause great tension at home and harm the well-being of the whole family.
What are the causes of children’s conflicts?
Brothers can go from laughing and playing together, to fighting for any reason in a matter of seconds. These are common and normal situations that have a lot to do with children’s own personality. Maybe one is playing with the toy that the other wants or they don’t agree when choosing a drawing program to watch on TV.
Even a simple question of hierarchy in the house can cause siblings to develop rivalry between them. Generally, it’s about getting attention, feeling more valued, which can turn into a fight for the love of parents. As much as you try to treat all your children equally, the strength and self-esteem of children is so weak that any gesture can get to confuse your feelings towards each of them.
When your children are fighting, discussing, or having problems, regardless of the severity of them, it is essential that your intervention is neutral at all times. Avoid blaming any of them, especially if you do not know the origin of the conflict. It is possible that the problem will come from afar and positioning yourself at that time for one or the other, can trigger a bigger problem.
Try to get the brothers to solve their problems by tackling the causes. Get used to talking, expressing what their feelings are as soon as possible. Because hiding problems and bad feelings, can lead children to accumulate grudge, a negative feeling that in all probability will not know how to manage. Work with your children empathy, teach them to put themselves in each other’s place so they can understand how they feel when they hurt their brother.
Conflicts are part of the fraternal relationship
Fights between siblings are normal, common and are part of the relationship between children. The brothers are the first friends to have in life, they are the first companions of games, adventures and comfort in the first difficulties. In any social relationship there are difficulties, differences in characters, thoughts and convictions that cause conflicts. Without this entailing the impossibility of maintaining a relationship between two persons, especially between brothers and siblings.
Stay neutral so that none of them feel inferior, so that they do not feel misunderstood, or lose confidence in you. However, you should be alert to any aggressive behavior, as violence should never be the solution to any problem. Much less when it comes to problems between siblings. Generally, the simplest problems and the ones that are easier to manage are those that appear in childhood.
However, with the advent of adolescence, with all the emotional, hormonal, and social changes, siblings may begin to show differences that were previously unnoticeable. In this case it is also normal for differences and conflicts to appear, because at certain ages the personality is very developed and the boys begin to form their groups of friends, where the brothers do not always fit.
In this situation and in the face of serious behavioral problems, do not hesitate to consult with a professional who will help you find the cause and the solution to this difficulty.