They feel that their integrity is compromised if they are forced to submit to someone else’s will. If they are allowed to choose, they love to cooperate. If this bothers you because you think obedience is an important quality, you have to reconsider this.
Of course, you want to raise a responsible, considerate and cooperative child who does the right thing, even when it is difficult. But that does not imply obedience. That means doing the right thing because you want to.
“ Morality is to do the right thing, no matter what they tell you. Obedience is to do what they tell you, no matter what is right.” — HL Mencken
So, of course, you want your child to do what you say. But not because he’s obedient, which means he always does what someone older tells him to do. No, you want him to do what you tell him because he trusts you, because he has learned that although you can’t always say yes to what he wants, you have the best interests in your heart.
You want to raise a child who has self-discipline, takes responsibility and is considered, and most importantly, who has the discernment to find out who to trust and when to be influenced by someone else.
Breaking a child’s will leaves him open to the influenceof otherswho will often not serve your most important interests. What’s more, it’s a betrayal of the spiritual contract we do as parents. That said, strong-willed children can have a lot of energy, be challenging and persistent. But we must protect these fabulous qualities and foster cooperation between parents and children!
This way your parent-child relationship will improve considerably and the family environment will be much better in all respects. Just put on your side and your child will change for the better soon!