To negotiate with a teenager you need to calm and get to know him well. We know that adolescence is not an easy stage for both sons and daughters, nor for mothers. It is desirable to look for a balance between domestic and family everyday life, and your own interests. For her you have to negotiate, and you have to do it on both sides.
Negotiating with a teenager is not an easy task , and sometimes trying to reach an agreement can lead to even more conflict and anxiety. We tell you some negotiation techniques that may be useful to you, but remember that the main thing is the knowledge and trust you have with your child.
Important Keys to Negotiate with Teens
We have to look for the teenager to seeknegotiation. At first he’ll try to impose his judgment and we’ll hear that “you don’t understand it.” Let him understand that if an agreement is reached, the situation will improve, is the first step. If you are not willing to accept this negotiation, which at the same time is proof to assume a certain degree of freedom, accepting or rejecting options, then you will have to follow the rules.
Negotiation must take place in a neutral situation, doing so in the midst of anger and tantrums, will not lead us anywhere. Neither the teenager nor we mothers. Adults must always keep the word given, it is the only way to keep the example. Confidence and coherence are essential to negotiate.
And the last, though not least, to know the interests of our son or daughter. So we can better adapt to your needs and the aspirations you have. At the same time we assess at what time it is produced. It is not the same to negotiate a weekend with friends if we know it is one of them’s birthday than if it is a normal one, for example.
A couple of techniques that are good to negotiate
Every family is a world, but there are certain techniques to negotiate with your teen that can help you, or you can adapt. But watch! because no technique is infallible.
One of these techniques is that of “this is not all.” Basically it consists of giving him a profit, before asking him a favor. For example, if you want to address with them the subject of how to dress, something very tricky for a teenager (especially if it is a woman). Well, one possibility is to give you more hours of mobile, or series, and when a reasonable time has passed this, then address the issue and ask the effort that you do not spend so much on clothes or not seen in that way.
Technique of the “slammer on the face”. With this technique the first thing is that we have clear our goal, and make it a greater request than we want to achieve. We know he’s not going to accept and that’s where the negotiation begins. By yielding us, he or she will also be reciprocal with us. One of the advantages of this type of negotiation is that the teenager is more responsible for the decision made. It is important to close the negotiation in the same conversation. A tip, bargain a little, is the famous one: not for you, not for me.
Other ways to negotiate with a teenager
You can ask him a favor that you both seem insignificant, ridiculous, very small, but that is related to what we want to achieve. For example if we want him to visit grandparents, you can ask him to get on the phone while you talk to them, just to say hello. He probably realizes the ridiculous of the favor and provides more than he has been asked.
Another idea is to offer you a product in very good conditions, so that it is irresistible. For example, we go on the weekend to the beach and take a couple of friends. If you want to get it, we ask for an initial cost, for example: you have to clean and order your room. The funny thing is that when they accept they are able to keep doing other things. For the teenager the reward, if he really wants it is so important that he will strive to achieve it.
There are other techniques, each family and in each case you can apply one or the other. It is clear that what served for the eldest son, perhaps does not serve for the next, that is why it is so important to know the individuals.