Adults tell us as an anecdote that question our son or daughter asked us and made us feel uncomfortable. But we almost never consider that we also throw awkward questions at children, and that these issues can make them feel bad.
Sometimes communication with children is not easy. Many times they answer with a yes or a no, and if they say I don’t know it’s because they don’t really know it. But adults expect them to explain everything, manage it, that they have things clear, and we forget that they are children. We give you some clues to find out what questions can find children uncomfortable and how to manage that emotion of feeling weird about the question.
Awkward questions about your behavior
All of us have ever escaped this: Come on, say hello, give a kiss to… Kids have a hard time to gain confidence with people who are not close to them. Adults learn to greet courtesy, but they don’t have this internalized learning. The greeting of a boy or a girl is much more spontaneous and sincere. We should not force our children to greet, let alone ask them why do they not greet? Maybe in your answer we find ourselves in an awkward situation.
There are children who are struggling with physical contact. They don’t like to be touched, they can also be ashamed to say hello. That’s why it’s better to explain to them who that adult is, or the child we want him to greet, and whether he or she herself makes the decision to greet him or not.
You will have noticed that your children are uncomfortable getting a kiss from what people, if you see that he puts his face, don’t ask him to kiss him. Do not cause him discomfort, affection manifests itself in other ways other than kisses. The child may decide to shake his hand, sit on his lap or simply watch. Don’t even think of asking him whether or not I want that person and if he wants to ask him to kiss him. For children kissing involves taking a very important step, so do not force him.
And you already have a boyfriend or girlfriend?
It is still common for children, especially at the beginning of going to kindergarten to acquire certain roles such as adults. There is always a friend or friend with whom there is a special connection. And there’s almost always the adult or adult on duty who says that about. I was told you have a boyfriend, girlfriend. And it’s usually someone who doesn’t have much confidence with the child.
Think about how you would feel if they ask you, and how the child should feel. Besides remember that children do not catch so much irony, nor adult mood. For them and them we almost always talk seriously.
Besides, if you think about it, it ‘s a senseless question, as well as an awkward question. He has no answer. Boys and girls want to play, this kind of relationship we establish them from adulthood. And they set up games and name their playmates from those roles, but from there we ask them about them goes an abyss.
What do you want to be older?
Another of the awkward questions we sometimes ask without thinking is that about you, what do you want to be older? As boys and girls grow up they build an answer about that, because they already know they’re going to ask them sooner or later. But they don’t really care, they don’t think about it and they don’t know what it means to be older or to have a profession.
Besides, adults don’t just ask them what do they want to be? But why, and then you’ll have to study a lot? Or we are simply disappointed with your answers. With all these new uncomfortable questions, the boy or girl will feel that he has failed.
Let’s be benevolent to us, it’s quite possible that we may ask our sons and daughters uncomfortable questions, and they’re going to feel bad about it. So to avoid this, let’s not treat them like adults and get to their level of intellect.